I have noticed that many times in everyday life when talking casually to men whom I suspect are gay and are trying to suss me out (straight acting closet case) they casually drop something in the conversation about an assumed wife or girlfriend as if fishing for an answer to find out if you are gay. Has anyone else come across this and what do you tend to say. As I am pretty closeted I don't wish to out myself every time this happens and so usually end up just agreeing with what they say.

Just imply that you don't have a wife. This doesn't confirm that you are gay and also offers yourself up for further conversation. You have to keep a crack in your closet door if you want someone to know your in there. Just use a chain latch to keep it secure.

I've had this happen a few times.

If I think they're gay and interested, I just say very casually, "Oh, I'm gay, I don't have a wife."

A straight guy will usually back-pedal at that point and start talking about his girlfriend or whatever, while a gay guy will usually small and admit to being gay himself. Then the game is on.